By Carrie

  • We’re not all inbred (seriously, look at me)
  • We don’t all live in trailer parks
  • 98% of us have an education higher than the 3rd grade (high school diploma status)
  • Hardly any of us aspire to be farmers
  • We weren’t born with a dip in our mouth
  • Our teeth are pretty damn nice (my sister’s are perfect)
  • Yes, we’re gigantic Nascar fans, but if you get between us and a football game, we’ll use your head for the kick off.
  • Don’t walk into traffic. You won’t survive. (Seattleites slow down or stop. Missourians will run you over.)
  • The women are wonderful until you double-cross them. Even the Witness Protection Program can’t save you after that.
  • The guys are gentlemen and you better never let them hear you swear in front of a lady.
  • People in general are extremely generous. I watched someone literally give someone else the shirt off his back.
  • We like to be barefoot.
  • We stargaze quite a bit.
  • We know where “over yonder” is without someone having to point it out.
  • Mud is awesome.
  • Boo, rain! (Unless there’s a decent amount of mud afterwards.)

Read more from Carrie’s zine, Sweet Tea and Lemonade, Coffee and Rain, by clicking here.

Click Image for a Sneak Peek!

Click Image for a Sneak Peek!


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