- We’re not all inbred (seriously, look at me)
- We don’t all live in trailer parks
- 98% of us have an education higher than the 3rd grade (high school diploma status)
- Hardly any of us aspire to be farmers
- We weren’t born with a dip in our mouth
- Our teeth are pretty damn nice (my sister’s are perfect)
- Yes, we’re gigantic Nascar fans, but if you get between us and a football game, we’ll use your head for the kick off.
- Don’t walk into traffic. You won’t survive. (Seattleites slow down or stop. Missourians will run you over.)
- The women are wonderful until you double-cross them. Even the Witness Protection Program can’t save you after that.
- The guys are gentlemen and you better never let them hear you swear in front of a lady.
- People in general are extremely generous. I watched someone literally give someone else the shirt off his back.
- We like to be barefoot.
- We stargaze quite a bit.
- We know where “over yonder” is without someone having to point it out.
- Mud is awesome.
- Boo, rain! (Unless there’s a decent amount of mud afterwards.)
Read more from Carrie’s zine, Sweet Tea and Lemonade, Coffee and Rain, by clicking here.