I’ve been thinking about writing
To my mother.
I even had a dream about it.
I wrote to her
And I moved back in to her apartment
And my dog
Tasha was there
And lept up
And gave me a hug
And licked my face
And everything was better.
Before it really wasn’t too good.
I was depressed all the time
And I didn’t want to do anything.
I was going to community college and I wasn’t doing well
And I didn’t feel good because
I wasn’t doing well
And I wasn’t doing well
Because I wasn’t happy at home
And my mom was wishing I would just leave.
So one day I just
Packed up my bags and walked out the door.
When I woke up, I thought it had been something real
Because I kind of want it to be real.
Because I plan to write to her.
I think about doing it everyday
And then I somehow manage to put it off.
For whatever reason.
Like I’m too busy.
And I really want to do it
But I never make the time for it.
I wouldn’t know what to say.
I imagine I’d say sorry
Sorry to leave without notice
Without saying a word
Without saying goodbye
That I’d like to see her in person
To talk to her and apologize and be re-assured
by her that everything’s ok.